The Y Factor!

So this week has been about the Y Factor! What is the Y factor? It's all those questions you ask yourself, and try to find answers to, to keep you on track and motivated to achieve the world you want.
My Y factor questions ive been fighting with this week. Y do i want this so bad? Y do i sabotage myself? Y do i blame others? What is it that i want? Y am i not happy with where i have come from? Y dont i want to let things happen and enjoy the new exciting things ahead? Y am i so hard on myself? Y do i care what others think?
Someone said to me today, that these questions go through alot of peoples heads. That im not alone.
I find these questions hard and scary at the same time. I dont know what id look like when i lose another 20kg, so imagining myself is very hard to do. So therefore how do i know where im heading?
I want to just let go and embrace the changes that will happen. But something keeps pulling me back.
Its driving me CRAZY!!!!
I have this blame inside me, blaming my parents for the way we were brought up eating wise. Because of their habits, (which i have now inherited) im left working my ass off to better my life and live the way i want to be. Its hard!! Its so god dam HARD!!
But if things were easy, then everyone would be out there smashing it. But only the fighters continue on time and time again.
I am the FIGHTER!! I want this more than words can say. Yes i have these bad habits, but they no longer can control me. I am the only one in control of my fate. Only i can change my ways. Its going to be tough, and im sure as hell not going to let it beat me. But I'm willing to continue to try time and time again. Nothing will make me give up! Ive come to far to give up now.

So i erge all those out there, who in tough times just want to give up. Push through and fight for what you want. Be that person people say 'OMG your amazing, look at what you have done!' Be proud of who you are and where your going.
Someone special always says to me "You only have one life LIVE IT!!!"  xxx

Ok, so its been quite a while since i have blogged. Im sorry to all the regular visitors to my page. I will make a promise to blog every week from now on.
So what has been happening?? Hrmmmmmm well ive been continuing on my weight loss track, with up and down moments, just the usual really.
I have completed Certificate 3 in fitness now, which means i can work in a gym if i like. I start Certificate 4 on Wednesday. Im looking forward to completing it. As i will then be qualified to do personal training. This really excites me. I have already started to think about what i want to do and where i would like to go with personal training and boot camps. Just researching at the moment so that when i am certified i can start straight away. So keep your eyes out, as you may just get a special offer when i start.
I have been training a friend of mine Dani for a few weeks now. Just getting some experience as well as helping a friend reach some goals. Its funny really, as i see alot in Dani as what i use to be like (and im sure sometimes still are). Its a crazy feeling hearing someone say and do things u use to do. But i guess who would know how to help them than someone who has been there. She is loving my program, and it opened her to new things. Today i did a one on one session where i got to take her as if it were a personal training session. She worked very very hard and will be very very sore. :) It was about showing her, her potenial and just how hard she can work. Now her task will be to keep the intensity up while training on her own, as im not always going to be there. Im really loving this and just reassures me that its something i will be doing for my life. Helping, encouraging and supporting people to be the best they can be is going to be amazing. I definatley think i will be able to put my stamp on the world.
Im still training hard with Elise twice a week. Loving that as usual. Also loving doing some sessions on my own, kicking my own butt really is an awesome feeling.
I have my ups and down when it comes to my food, but slowly getting more consistant with it.

So heres whats ahead. I turn 30 in december and will be having my party late November. So between now and then i want to lose 20-30kg! thats massive your thinking?? Your right its a HUGE task and i am so ready for it. Im in the right head space. I feel so focused like i did at the start of this experience, im very excited at what lies ahead. Not really knowing what i will look like is a little daunting. However i have decided to approach it with positivity and determination and work my butt off to achieve this. I want nothing more than to go into the 30's at a weight i am proud of.
So keep watching for updates and progress reports, pics and measurements.
Its gonna be an amazing ride.
Oh, any business name suggestions???
Love to you all!!!
Sandie
xx