Mid Challenge

 Well im about to start week 6 of my 12 weeks challenge.
This week i have my assessment. Im a little bit excited but nervous at the same time. I know my KG's arnt what i would have hoped for, but im keen to see the cm etc. as i can feel my body shrinking. Its an exciting feeling. :)
This week has been a bit up and down, feel good in general. But just keep trying to think of way to excel this process. Really wanna get under that 100kg. Once im under that i wont care as much about the scales, because for me 100kg is a bench mark for me that 100kg is someone who is fat. Which is why i so badly want to be under that. Currently im .4grams away from 40kgs that i have lost! This is amazing and not many people can achieve what i have achieved. My sister asked me if i was going to reward myself for getting there. But i dont want to, i wanna wait until i get to 50kg lost which means i will be under that 100kg!!! This is where i think i will be happy with things. Until then i still worry and stress about everything. Still struggle to make it part of life, and change my life forever. Its just so very hard. I know what i need to do and i can do it, but it seems only for a little bit then i head back to the old ways.
I read a book the other day by Craig Harper, called Stop Fucking Around!! Everything he says is sooooo right and i know everyone that would read it would understand. And to get where i want to be i need to sacrifice somethings, but its so hard.
Dont get me wrong its not like i am down and depressed about this stuff, just stuff that goes on in my head. :)
Anyways not much happened this week but trying to stay on top and do the right thing.
They say to change habits you need to make sacrifices. This next 6 weeks is going to be the sacrifice i am going to make! Going to smash it out of the water. No more 'fucking around' Clean and Lean life changing eating.
So wish me luck, and i ask everyone to encourage me and inspire me and help me. xx

What a week!!!

Wow!!! what a week ive had.
Things have changed from the week before. Im no longer worrying about the things that havnt happened yet, and i am just doing what i need to do with no excuses and no reason to give in and be afraid of being the best me EVER!
So this week was the wedding!!! I had friday off work and spent part of the day getting beautified!! Have my spray tan, nails, and also had time to take my lil neice Chole and mum out for lunch and a bit of shopping. Was just a lovely was to spend a friday.
Friday night was rehearsal, the celebrant was 1 hr late! So ash and i didnt get our dinner date as planned. Unfortunatley he coul have stayed at home. :)
Satudary came!! I had to be in Yarra glen by 10am!!! Ready to get hair and make up done!! Was fun as always. Although the hair didnt work out to be what i wanted, but thats ok im not the one who is ment to stand out. I put my dress on and found out it was a lil to loose. So id lost weight since final fitting 5 days ago. So all day and night i was pulling it up. hehehehe hard life hey!! :P
Dee (the bride!) looks gorgeous!!! She had photos on a harley, which was a huge dream of hers. We were half an hour late to the ceremony as Dee had left her ring in the house, so we had to find a way in. Luckily a door wasnt locked.
Once again i dont remember walking down the isle althought i think i looked at people more than i did at my sisters wedding. But my feet were already killing me.
Anyways was a great day and night, although the music sucked!!! The joys of being one of the youngest in the room. :) Anyways enough of the wedding.
Over the past few days i have once again started to notice different things changing again. Its so strange to see things that u use to hate about yourself, dont look so bad now. I put on a dress (which i usually wear leggings with) to wear to work and before i put the leggings on i looked in the mirror. I could have wore it as a dress with no legggings. I didnt mind how my legs looked. Its so very strange. Another thing is im noticing that im not the big girl anymore. Im no different to most people. Yeah ok ive still got some to lose, but i look healthy, and i look fit. Im not the large person anymore. Im learning to except it and use to to power me through tough times. These feelings are amazing motivation.
So things are pretty good at the moment, SMASHING my training, trying new things, pushing myself to the highest peaks. Eating has been 95% excellent!! which is awesome. Tomorrow i jump on the scales for my weekly weigh in then next week i have the mid challenge weigh in. I know this first 6 weeks havnt been the best, but i am more determined to make the last 6 more than exceptional!! Im going for platinum and NOTHING will stand in my way.
My TV ad at gym seems to be getting the response elise was looking for. people are noticing and commenting. So getting use to excepting the compliments and not being embarrassed to talk about things with people. It will all come. Right now im just riding the waves and doing what i can to get through each day/week!
Enjoy your week special people.
Train hard and achieve big dreams!
Love to you all!! xx

Sometimes being on top can bring you down

So this week i have been dealing with some head stuff.
Sometimes when you feel on top of it, and love being on top of it. The pressure can get to you.
This week ive been feeling alot of pressure to get the results people expect from me. And because ive been struggling with my nutrition, i feel like i am failing everyone, especially Elise my Trainer. She so kindly has used me as promotion for her business. This is a HUGE honour, and i could not be more proud that she wants me up there. But im scared, scared that i wont get the results she wants me to, scared i wont achieve the things i set out to achieve this challenge. Im sick of going round and round in circles with my emotions. One or two weeks and im smashing killing every aspect then, week three it seems to go down hill, then week four i feel outta control. Just dont know how i can conquer this. But very over it!!
So tonight on Biggest Loser a lady was going through the same kinda issues, so really hit home, breaking me down. Making me want to blog about this stuff. They came out with, its not everyone elses expectations its my own, and when im not on top of it i get scared and try to revert back to the old me to compensate. I couldnt believe hearing this. It is what i needed to hear for sure, as it is exactly what i have been doing.
No one else expects anything from me, i only expect the best, because thats where i wanna be. If i lost 5kg then everyone would be so happy for me, if i lose 20kg will still be the same outcome.
So how do i stop this cycle from occuring??? Any suggestions would be awesome.

So enough of the mental stuff, other things have been happening. Lauren and I trained some friends of ours through a bootcamp kinda workout. Was fun pushing them and watching them smashing it out. So proud of them all. But was great experience for us.
PT with Elise tomorrow, my only one for the week :( but wanting to smash it hard!!! No chatter, just hardcore workout!! (im sure there will be a lil chat! lol) But smashing my training and thinking of starting my running again, once i get new shoes.
Anyways think thats enough from me this time.
Next time ill be on top of the world. With no pressure on myself. Just doing what i do best and being the best i can be.
Love to you all
Sandie xx

Week 2 and already smashing goals

Well week two is over! Feeling amazing and cant believe how much my fitness levels can change with eating healthy.
This week i once again smashed my PT sessions, improving on my weights each week. Building that strong base to push it harder each week.
Nutrition was great this week. Recovering from my Hens weekend and putting on a lil was hard to take, but i got over it and just solidered on. Losing nearly 3kg, so most was probably water weight. So excited for the weeks ahead. Sticking Clean & Lean will get me to where i wanna go.
This week was the first group FTC thing at the 1000 steps. Last challenge i did it in over 40mins. This time i did it in 32.12mins, and didnt stop once. Just went at a nice steady pace and then ran the last section. Did it all on my own with no help from anyone, so its amazing what u can do when u want to.
When i got to the top, i waited for a friend of mine Danielle. She is doing the challenge for the first time, and she is starting where i started weight wise. So i wanted to be there to encourage her across the finish line. When i saw her coming up i was so proud of her. She had made it. I yelled for her to run it home strong and she did. I even had a lil tear watching her. She had smashed her time by 10-15mins!! AMAZING!!! Was so stoked for her!
School also started this week. Wednesday night was all about muscles and bones. I knew the muscles just not the bones. Lots of practicing to do! Then Saturday we had it all day. We learnt how to measure clients, blood pressure, skin folds etc. Was interesting to learn it rather than being the person getting it done to. Was fun. Then we headed to the gym for the afternoon where we learnt to spot clients, and learnt what some exercises were. Did lots of weights there. Then it finished early so i made it to Sh'bam!!! When i got home i was knackered!!! Hot bath, and a 12 hr sleep and i was ready to go again!!! lol
Bring on Week 3!!!
My goals this week, to study and get one module completly finished. and To smash my weights every session!! Wanna make the most out of everything. No more wasting time. Get on with it, i say!!! lol
Dream big people!!! Stay Strong!!!
Over an out! :P